1) There is a party of functions. Everyone is there. x², π² and every other function is having fun. Except ex , who is sitting in a corner all by itself. x³ notices it and says: "come on, integrate yourself!" ex responds sadly: "Why should I? It wouldn't make a difference"
2) A group of bankers want to invest in, and bet on, horse races. They decide to hire a group of physicists and ask them to find which horse will be the best. On the day of the presentation, the physicists have a presentation ready. On the first slide there is a circle. A physicist takes out a laser pointer, points at the circle, and says "Modelling the horse as a perfect sphere in an insolated system, in a vacuum..."
3) Heisenberg and Schrödinger drive in a car, and are stopped by a police officer. He asks: "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?" Heisenberg responds: "No, but I can tell you exactly where I was driving"
The police officer thinks that this response is a bit odd, and searched the car. A few minutes later he comes back and asks: "Sir, did you know you had a ead cat in you trunk?" Schrödinger responds: "No, but now I do."
YAY, physics and maths jokes. Funny? Maybe. Conversation starter / ice breaker? Yes!
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